Comitting to the Race

 

I stole this straight from my teammate Mike's blog.

I need to read and think about this a lot. 

I am not very far into my double training. I have taken a very strange view of this event. I keep on telling people, "maybe I'll like it and maybe I won't. We'll just see. I know I know, it's crazy. Maybe I won't want to do any more of these once I do one. I'm just giving it a try." 

I think I am saying that because people are VERY judgmental about this goal. Surprisingly far more judgmental than the other goals I have done. Clearly this is some kind of threshold for people Everyone I talk to has a variety of negagtive things to say about this race. I hear, "I would never do that." "You are crazy!" "That can't be healthy." and on and on and on and on. People around me (both in and out of the sport) have gotten used to my Ironmans. This is something new. This is just too much.

I think I have internalized that attitude.

It is crazy.

It is hard.

It will hurt.

But isn't that WHY I want to do it? 

I need to stop mentally pandering to people who are negative about my races and own it for me.

I have the love and support of the people who matter most, so I really don't need the approval of everyone else. "They" really don't need to understand why  I am doing 2 hours of swimming before I go to work. They don't need to understand why I am spending my weekends and my entire winter break training.

I am who needs to understand.

I am the one who is doing the work.

I am physically committed to the race. I am doing the work, I am organizing my life around the training. 

I need to dedicate my WHOLE self to it.

I need to give myself mental permission to commit to this race.